Click on the link to get the full article discussing each of the following marriage myths. Of particular interest to me is Myth #3 as many of the over 200 couples I've married have been living together.
The article doesn't go into any numbers but the research I've read suggests that those who live together before marriage are twice as likely to divorce as those who don't live together first. And those who have been divorced are twice as likely to divorce a second time.
Myth #1: Marriage benefits men much more than women.
Myth #2: The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love.
Myth #3: Couples who live together before marriage are able to test how well suited they are for each other and have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.
Myth #4: People cannot be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.
Myth #5: Marriage will make me happy.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Friday, October 22, 2004
otherness
"For worship to be worship, it must contain something of the otherness of God." (Facedown, p23)
The otherness of God is magnificent was of highlighting the fact that God is not just a superhuman human being. God is not a white bearded old man in the sky. God is not an angry petty diety waiting for us to foul up.
It is true that we are created in the image of God and so we have some characteristics that God has. But to then just treat God as a blown up version of us is to dishonour who He is.
Our view of who God is and what He is like we invariably influence how we view His position in our lives. It is not until we come to see the magnificence, the eternalness, the power and the grace He has that we will bow our lives down to Him.
The fact that God is not wholely other means we can know something of Him. But in knowing something of Him we must never let go of the fact that He is far greater than our heads will ever understand.
"Oh God grant that we your children might glimpse to a greater degree your otherness so that we might fall on our faces and worship you."
Other quotes ...
"Otherness gives us a sense that God is so pure, matchless and unique that no one else and nothing else even comes close." (p24)
"But He is not like us. He is utterly incomparable - beyond the furthest horizon of our imaginations. He is off the scale of our comprehension. We have merely known the shallows of the mighty depth." (p25-26)
"But the call is to venture out into the ocean, to encounter the extraordinary and to explore the mighty depths of God." (p26)
The otherness of God is magnificent was of highlighting the fact that God is not just a superhuman human being. God is not a white bearded old man in the sky. God is not an angry petty diety waiting for us to foul up.
It is true that we are created in the image of God and so we have some characteristics that God has. But to then just treat God as a blown up version of us is to dishonour who He is.
Our view of who God is and what He is like we invariably influence how we view His position in our lives. It is not until we come to see the magnificence, the eternalness, the power and the grace He has that we will bow our lives down to Him.
The fact that God is not wholely other means we can know something of Him. But in knowing something of Him we must never let go of the fact that He is far greater than our heads will ever understand.
"Oh God grant that we your children might glimpse to a greater degree your otherness so that we might fall on our faces and worship you."
Other quotes ...
"Otherness gives us a sense that God is so pure, matchless and unique that no one else and nothing else even comes close." (p24)
"But He is not like us. He is utterly incomparable - beyond the furthest horizon of our imaginations. He is off the scale of our comprehension. We have merely known the shallows of the mighty depth." (p25-26)
"But the call is to venture out into the ocean, to encounter the extraordinary and to explore the mighty depths of God." (p26)
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
interesting
Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they were not attending church, and the fish were not biting.
The first guy eventually says: "I should have stayed home and gone to church."
To which the other angler replied: "I couldn't have gone to church, anyhow.
My wife is sick in bed."
The first guy eventually says: "I should have stayed home and gone to church."
To which the other angler replied: "I couldn't have gone to church, anyhow.
My wife is sick in bed."
want to know more about faith in jesus
Here are some websites worth checking out.
www.christianityworks.com
http://www.tryjesus.com/
If you know of others that are worth checking out then let me know.
www.christianityworks.com
http://www.tryjesus.com/
If you know of others that are worth checking out then let me know.
graphs
If you love statistics or graphs or just want to find some comparative information about countries then this link will make your day. It allows you to create graphs and charts on a wide range of areas such as religious attendance, democracy, wealth, health, etc.
I discovered that Australia has the highest turnout in the world for elections. Whether that is good or bad is up to you.
I discovered that Australia has the highest turnout in the world for elections. Whether that is good or bad is up to you.
the olympics
The link goes to a very funny (in a warped way) olympics type graphic. The wait is well worth it as its the funniest thing I've seen in a while.
quotes
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Gandhi
"Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion." - Alice Cooper, in Sunday Times (London)
"Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion." - Alice Cooper, in Sunday Times (London)
when people come to faith
The link takes you to an interesting article by George Barna Research on when people make a decision to follow Jesus. For me the most interesting part is the pivot role that parents play in bringing their kids to a relationship with Jesus. If the parents don't do it then many will miss the opportunity.
useful resouces
If you are looking for some short video clips to use to start a discussion or as a visual input in your services check out the link for these excellent and FREE video clips.
begin today
START NOWBy Dr. John C. Maxwell
In the early 1970's, I had the opportunity to hear a speech by W. Clement Stone, co-author of one of the best-selling motivational books of all time, Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.
At age 6, Stone was hawking newspapers on the streets of Chicago to help his widowed mother pay the rent. He had his own newsstand at 13, and later founded what would become a multibillion-dollar insurance empire with $100 of his hard-earned savings.
Stone's own rags-to-riches story convinced him that, with a positive mental attitude, anyone could become successful. The formula for achievement that he shared with us that day allowed no room for procrastination, however, "When you wake up in the morning, start with the phrase, 'Do it now, do it now, do it now, do it now,'" he said, adding that we should repeat those three words 50 times in the morning and 50 times before bed.
The message he wanted to ingrain in our heads was simple: If you want to be successful, don't wait for tomorrow. Just do it now.
(For the rest of the article click on the link.)
In the early 1970's, I had the opportunity to hear a speech by W. Clement Stone, co-author of one of the best-selling motivational books of all time, Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.
At age 6, Stone was hawking newspapers on the streets of Chicago to help his widowed mother pay the rent. He had his own newsstand at 13, and later founded what would become a multibillion-dollar insurance empire with $100 of his hard-earned savings.
Stone's own rags-to-riches story convinced him that, with a positive mental attitude, anyone could become successful. The formula for achievement that he shared with us that day allowed no room for procrastination, however, "When you wake up in the morning, start with the phrase, 'Do it now, do it now, do it now, do it now,'" he said, adding that we should repeat those three words 50 times in the morning and 50 times before bed.
The message he wanted to ingrain in our heads was simple: If you want to be successful, don't wait for tomorrow. Just do it now.
(For the rest of the article click on the link.)
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
what is worship?
The link is Danielle DuRant speaking with worship leader and songwriter Matt Redman in the summer of 2004 in Atlanta about his new book Facedown (Regal Books, 2004) and the companion CD. Matt has written a number of songs sung by churches worldwide, including “Better Is One Day,” “The Heart of Worship,” and “Blessed Be Your Name.”
The interview explores the nature our of worship of God and how it needs to develop and reclaim the awesomeness of God.
Personally the interview has inspired me to purchase his CD and book. I'll let you know what I think of them.
The interview explores the nature our of worship of God and how it needs to develop and reclaim the awesomeness of God.
Personally the interview has inspired me to purchase his CD and book. I'll let you know what I think of them.
money II
Here's a piece of advice I give to anyone asking me about budgeting. Give 10%. (The first 10% is the easiest to give.) Save 10%. Play with 10%. (Do it in this order.)
Once this is a habit you can then ramp up the giving and saving sides.
The playing with 10% is really important. We need to enjoy life. A frugal life with no joy is a life missed and a reckless life of spending without giving or saving is a life wasted.
Once this is a habit you can then ramp up the giving and saving sides.
The playing with 10% is really important. We need to enjoy life. A frugal life with no joy is a life missed and a reckless life of spending without giving or saving is a life wasted.
money I
John Wesley made this comment about money. "Earn as much as you can. Save as much as you can. Give as much as you can." Now that is good advice and keeps money in perspective.
The link above is for an article called "10 things you shouldn't buy new." It makes some good points and helps us have more money to give to important causes.
The link above is for an article called "10 things you shouldn't buy new." It makes some good points and helps us have more money to give to important causes.
more fun
And more more distraction try the link for this test. Don't take more than 10 minutes and see how you went. I got 7. What about you?
wierd fun
For the sicko's who would like to be an angry god for a day displaying your wrath this link will allow you to vent your aggression. A bit sick but funny never the less.
Monday, October 18, 2004
goal setting
Do you set goals? Apparently only about 4% of people do and that correlates pretty strongly with success and interestingly happiness. I guess that makes sense because unless you have a goal you don't know if you've achieved your goal.
A method I use is to set a minimum and maximum goal for each thing instead of just one goal.
Example of a single goal might be to exercise for 20 minutes 3 times a week.. A minimum & maximum goal might be to exercise between 2 and 4 times per week.
The advantage of a range is that it allows me to set what is the bare minimum I'd be happy with, but also gives me a target I can stretch for.
The problem with a single goal is that if I set it too low I don't have the sense of achievement when I reach it. But if I set it too high it can feel impossible and demoralises me.
Other secrets in goal setting are ...
1) Set activity and not just result goals. You have control over your activity but not so much over the result.
2) Make goals in partnership with other people. Partnerships are much more likely to succeed than solo acts.
3) Set a maximum of 3-7 goals. Beyond 7 is just too many to focus on. Better to have a few goals that are achieved than many goals that are ignored.
4) Review your goals often. I normally make them a part of my daily time with God so that they are constantly before me.
A method I use is to set a minimum and maximum goal for each thing instead of just one goal.
Example of a single goal might be to exercise for 20 minutes 3 times a week.. A minimum & maximum goal might be to exercise between 2 and 4 times per week.
The advantage of a range is that it allows me to set what is the bare minimum I'd be happy with, but also gives me a target I can stretch for.
The problem with a single goal is that if I set it too low I don't have the sense of achievement when I reach it. But if I set it too high it can feel impossible and demoralises me.
Other secrets in goal setting are ...
1) Set activity and not just result goals. You have control over your activity but not so much over the result.
2) Make goals in partnership with other people. Partnerships are much more likely to succeed than solo acts.
3) Set a maximum of 3-7 goals. Beyond 7 is just too many to focus on. Better to have a few goals that are achieved than many goals that are ignored.
4) Review your goals often. I normally make them a part of my daily time with God so that they are constantly before me.
growing up religious
I grew up as a Catholic and I reckon about 1/3 of the people I work with have a Catholic upbringing. Here are some thoughts about having a faith conversation with someone of the Catholic tradition.
1) Don't write off the Catholic tradition. I've gone through the whole range of hating to loving my upbringing. Now I'm old enough (35 almost 36) I've learnt to recognise that benefits and negatives in my experience.
2) Catholics are a little more prone to have a view of God and the Church that misses the point of a personal relationship with Jesus. (But this isn't just a Catholic thing.) So it's important to always check a persons understanding by asking questions. Never assume anything! The reality is that a lot of people grow up in the church but never get to grips with the core teaching of Jesus.
3) Learn to appreciate the deep heritage that Catholics bring to spirituality. I have found that the some of the best writings on prayer come from the Catholic tradition. For me they tend to be more profound and realistic that some of the triumphalistic protestant writings.
4) Always challenge people to seek out the teaching of faith via reading the bible for themselves. A discovery that is personally made is much more profound than a truth handed on a platter. We need to encourage everyone to go on the journey of faith and trust that God will guide them and help them.
5) Recognise that everyone has to come to a point of being challenged by the call of Jesus to follow him. The point is not that they agree with all your views of the bible. The point is that they come to a point of committing their lives to follow Jesus as a disciple and doing what he calls them to do.
6) Acknowledge that their are committed Christians in the Catholic tradition. I personally made my decision to follow Jesus as a young Catholic and my early growth was a direct result of being mentored by the youth leaders in our local parish. I thank God for their vibrant faith and the way they were used by God to establish me in the journey of following Jesus as my God, Saviour and Lord.
1) Don't write off the Catholic tradition. I've gone through the whole range of hating to loving my upbringing. Now I'm old enough (35 almost 36) I've learnt to recognise that benefits and negatives in my experience.
2) Catholics are a little more prone to have a view of God and the Church that misses the point of a personal relationship with Jesus. (But this isn't just a Catholic thing.) So it's important to always check a persons understanding by asking questions. Never assume anything! The reality is that a lot of people grow up in the church but never get to grips with the core teaching of Jesus.
3) Learn to appreciate the deep heritage that Catholics bring to spirituality. I have found that the some of the best writings on prayer come from the Catholic tradition. For me they tend to be more profound and realistic that some of the triumphalistic protestant writings.
4) Always challenge people to seek out the teaching of faith via reading the bible for themselves. A discovery that is personally made is much more profound than a truth handed on a platter. We need to encourage everyone to go on the journey of faith and trust that God will guide them and help them.
5) Recognise that everyone has to come to a point of being challenged by the call of Jesus to follow him. The point is not that they agree with all your views of the bible. The point is that they come to a point of committing their lives to follow Jesus as a disciple and doing what he calls them to do.
6) Acknowledge that their are committed Christians in the Catholic tradition. I personally made my decision to follow Jesus as a young Catholic and my early growth was a direct result of being mentored by the youth leaders in our local parish. I thank God for their vibrant faith and the way they were used by God to establish me in the journey of following Jesus as my God, Saviour and Lord.
Friday, October 15, 2004
an interview with God
I hesitating checked out this link thinking it was a joke sent by a friend. I instead discovered that on occassion he can be serious and this is a very moving presentation of an interview with God. Beautiful graphics and moving transcript. It's worth checking out.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
the struggle of belief
One of the reasons I find the bible encouraging and refreshing is because of the realistic way it depicts the major characters. They are real life people with real life struggles who experience the ups and downs of life. There isn't a glossing over of their character flaws. There is no 'happy all the day' kind of thinking. Their isn't the simplistic 'just be happy' kind of teaching.
Abraham, Moses, David, Paul, Peter, Ruth, Deborah, Sarah and even Jesus, had good days and bad days. Sometimes things worked out perfectly while other days confusion was part of the journey.
This matches my reality. Some days life is brilliant and I couldn't be happier if I tried. Other days life is a misery and no matter what I do it seems to just be a struggle to get out of bed. Friends, that seems to me to be the reality of life.
But I think there is this hope. Life in Christ, though still up and down, is lived at a higher level than life without Christ. The knowledge that Jesus walks with me, that the Holy Spirit lives in me, and that the Father hears my every cry brings a comfort that I don't have when I don't know Jesus.
Someone once used this illustration. They said that life is like a jeep ride along a dirt track going up a mountain. Whether on the plain or going up the mountain the road is still bumpy and there are ups and downs. But the downs when half way up the mountain are still higher than the ups when on the plain.
The walk with Jesus continues to have ups and downs. But the down in Jesus is still better than the up without him!
Abraham, Moses, David, Paul, Peter, Ruth, Deborah, Sarah and even Jesus, had good days and bad days. Sometimes things worked out perfectly while other days confusion was part of the journey.
This matches my reality. Some days life is brilliant and I couldn't be happier if I tried. Other days life is a misery and no matter what I do it seems to just be a struggle to get out of bed. Friends, that seems to me to be the reality of life.
But I think there is this hope. Life in Christ, though still up and down, is lived at a higher level than life without Christ. The knowledge that Jesus walks with me, that the Holy Spirit lives in me, and that the Father hears my every cry brings a comfort that I don't have when I don't know Jesus.
Someone once used this illustration. They said that life is like a jeep ride along a dirt track going up a mountain. Whether on the plain or going up the mountain the road is still bumpy and there are ups and downs. But the downs when half way up the mountain are still higher than the ups when on the plain.
The walk with Jesus continues to have ups and downs. But the down in Jesus is still better than the up without him!
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
from "the problem of pain"
If the first and lowest operation of pain shatters the illusion that all is well, the second shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us. Everyone has noticed how hard it is to turn our thoughts to God when everything is going well with us. We ‘have all we want’ is a terrible saying when ‘all’ does not include God. We find God an interruption. As St Augustine says somewhere, ‘God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full-there’s nowhere for Him to put it’. Or as a friend of mine said, ‘We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it is there for emergencies but he hopes he’ll never have to use it.’ Now God, who has made us, knows what we are and that our happiness lies in Him. Yet we will not seek it in Him as long as he leaves us any other resort where it can even plausibly be looked for. While what we call ‘our own life’ remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him. What then can God do in our interests but make ‘our own life’ less agreeable to us, and take away the plausible source of false happiness?
- from The Problem of Pain
- from The Problem of Pain
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