Kelly, my offsider at CMP sent me this cartoon. Now I know what she really thinks of me.
Mind you I've often said that I think I would have been a crim if I hadn't met Jesus.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
39 things you should know by now.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Its not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark and large group of professionals built the Titanic.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Its not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark and large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Monday, May 22, 2006
the truth about the da vinci code
I've just finished reading "The Da Vinci Code" and have to say it was an interesting read. The concern of course is that some of the 'facts' of the book are not really facts at all. The website http://www.thetruthaboutdavinci.com/ helps the discerning reader to sift through the 'facts' of the novel and test them against good historical evidence.
Enhancing your Bible study – verse-by-verse by Rick Warren
Rick Warren's Bible Study Methods
Learn how to study the Bible Rick Warren’s way. This easy-to-understand book gives you not just one, but 12 methods for exploring the riches of God’s Word. At least one of them is exactly what you’re looking for – an approach that’s right for you, right where you’re at. Simple step-by-step instructions guide you through the how-to’s of 12 different Bible study methods.
Pastor, if you want to maximize your personal Bible study time, I’ve got a simple suggestion for you: verse-by-verse study.
It’s not hard. In fact, you can glean an enormous amount from just five simple steps. Just pick a passage, grab a pen, and follow these procedures:
1. Write a personal paraphrase.Write out the verse in your own words. Do not use one of the modern paraphrases except to get the idea of how to do it. Stay true to the verse you are paraphrasing, and try to condense rather than expand it.
2. List some questions, answers, and observations.List any questions you have relating to words, phrases, persons, topics, and doctrines in that verse. Write down any answers you find and also record any observations you make. Mark these as follows:
Q = Question
A = Answer
O = Observations
3. Find cross-references for each verse.Using the cross-references from your study Bible or from Scripture memory, write down at least one cross-reference for the verse you are studying. Identify the word or phrase you are cross-referencing at the end of this chapter. Use a concordance if you do not have a cross-referenced Bible.
4. Record any insights you get from the verse.Having thought through the words, phrases, and concepts in the verse, record any insights that you get from them. These could be further observations, words, and names that you have looked up and defined, or any other thought that comes to you. Let your imagination go and be as creative as you can.
5. Write down a brief personal application for each verse.As you go through the verses, record the devotional thoughts that come to you. Later, when you’re planning a devotional Bible study, you can pick one of those thoughts and develop it further. Or, if a particular verse seems to meet an immediate need, go ahead and write out an application that is possible, practical, personal, and measurable.
My suspicion is that the notes you gather through your personal study time will eventually find their way into a sermon. And that’s okay! That’s a great way to maximize your time in the Word. But the real benefit of verse-by-verse study is your own personal refreshment. If you’re in need of refilling, pick a passage and get going – verse-by-verse.
Learn how to study the Bible Rick Warren’s way. This easy-to-understand book gives you not just one, but 12 methods for exploring the riches of God’s Word. At least one of them is exactly what you’re looking for – an approach that’s right for you, right where you’re at. Simple step-by-step instructions guide you through the how-to’s of 12 different Bible study methods.
Pastor, if you want to maximize your personal Bible study time, I’ve got a simple suggestion for you: verse-by-verse study.
It’s not hard. In fact, you can glean an enormous amount from just five simple steps. Just pick a passage, grab a pen, and follow these procedures:
1. Write a personal paraphrase.Write out the verse in your own words. Do not use one of the modern paraphrases except to get the idea of how to do it. Stay true to the verse you are paraphrasing, and try to condense rather than expand it.
2. List some questions, answers, and observations.List any questions you have relating to words, phrases, persons, topics, and doctrines in that verse. Write down any answers you find and also record any observations you make. Mark these as follows:
Q = Question
A = Answer
O = Observations
3. Find cross-references for each verse.Using the cross-references from your study Bible or from Scripture memory, write down at least one cross-reference for the verse you are studying. Identify the word or phrase you are cross-referencing at the end of this chapter. Use a concordance if you do not have a cross-referenced Bible.
4. Record any insights you get from the verse.Having thought through the words, phrases, and concepts in the verse, record any insights that you get from them. These could be further observations, words, and names that you have looked up and defined, or any other thought that comes to you. Let your imagination go and be as creative as you can.
5. Write down a brief personal application for each verse.As you go through the verses, record the devotional thoughts that come to you. Later, when you’re planning a devotional Bible study, you can pick one of those thoughts and develop it further. Or, if a particular verse seems to meet an immediate need, go ahead and write out an application that is possible, practical, personal, and measurable.
My suspicion is that the notes you gather through your personal study time will eventually find their way into a sermon. And that’s okay! That’s a great way to maximize your time in the Word. But the real benefit of verse-by-verse study is your own personal refreshment. If you’re in need of refilling, pick a passage and get going – verse-by-verse.
reasons to believe
http://www.reasons.org/ is a site dedicated to to answering skeptics and encouraging believers. Check it out for some interesting and challenging thoughts.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
the da vinci code
In an excellent analysis of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code (movie to be released May 19), scholar N.T. Wright points out that many of the details Brown insists are historical are easily proven false. He notes: "Brown claims, in a note at the start of his book, first that the architectural details of the places mentioned are correct and second that there really is a secret society called 'The Priory of Sion' to which people like Da Vinci himself, Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo, and others belonged. Both of these claims can be shown very easily to be false.
"On the first: I only know well one of the buildings which features in the book, namely Westminster Abbey. All right, Brown knows where the Isaac Newton monument is. But he still makes gaffe after gaffe which could have been corrected by 10 minutes of walking around with his eyes open. The Abbey has towers, not spires. You cannot see Parliament from St James's Park. College Garden is an extremely private place, not 'a very public place' outside the Abbey's walls (527). You cannot look out into it from the Chapter House; nor is there a 'long hallway' leading to the latter, with a "'heavy wooden door' at the end (529 ff.). Ten minutes' observation by a junior research assistant could have put all this right. If Brown is so careless, and carelessly inventive, in details as easy to check as those, why should we trust him in anything else?
"And when it comes, second, to the Priory of Sion, the documents which Brown, following Baigent and Leigh, cite as evidence were forgeries cooked up by three zany Frenchmen in the 1950s. They cheerfully confessed to this in a devastating television program shown on British television in February (2005). And as for Brown's theory about Da Vinci's 'Last Supper,' according to which the Beloved Disciple next to Jesus is actually a woman, that he/she and Jesus are joined at the hip, that they are sitting in such a way as to display the letter V, apparently a sign of femininity, and also the letter M, for Mary, or Magdalene, or marriage, or something else, this is pure fantasy. You can take any great painting and play this kind of game with it. That's not to say that some painters may not have implanted coded messages in their work. It would be surprising if they didn't. But you won't find too many serious art critics giving Brown's reading of the painting more than a passing smile.
"Other details abound which make the first-century historian snort and want to throw the book into the fire. . . . We may safely conclude, then, that The Da Vinci Code is fiction not just in its characters and plot but in most of its other details as well." (Click here to read the full lecture.)
"On the first: I only know well one of the buildings which features in the book, namely Westminster Abbey. All right, Brown knows where the Isaac Newton monument is. But he still makes gaffe after gaffe which could have been corrected by 10 minutes of walking around with his eyes open. The Abbey has towers, not spires. You cannot see Parliament from St James's Park. College Garden is an extremely private place, not 'a very public place' outside the Abbey's walls (527). You cannot look out into it from the Chapter House; nor is there a 'long hallway' leading to the latter, with a "'heavy wooden door' at the end (529 ff.). Ten minutes' observation by a junior research assistant could have put all this right. If Brown is so careless, and carelessly inventive, in details as easy to check as those, why should we trust him in anything else?
"And when it comes, second, to the Priory of Sion, the documents which Brown, following Baigent and Leigh, cite as evidence were forgeries cooked up by three zany Frenchmen in the 1950s. They cheerfully confessed to this in a devastating television program shown on British television in February (2005). And as for Brown's theory about Da Vinci's 'Last Supper,' according to which the Beloved Disciple next to Jesus is actually a woman, that he/she and Jesus are joined at the hip, that they are sitting in such a way as to display the letter V, apparently a sign of femininity, and also the letter M, for Mary, or Magdalene, or marriage, or something else, this is pure fantasy. You can take any great painting and play this kind of game with it. That's not to say that some painters may not have implanted coded messages in their work. It would be surprising if they didn't. But you won't find too many serious art critics giving Brown's reading of the painting more than a passing smile.
"Other details abound which make the first-century historian snort and want to throw the book into the fire. . . . We may safely conclude, then, that The Da Vinci Code is fiction not just in its characters and plot but in most of its other details as well." (Click here to read the full lecture.)
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