two keys to changing habits

One reason why so many of us fail with habit change is that we try to do too much at once and don't do what we are trying to do for long enough.
I heard today something that I thought was helpful. The person was saying that it takes doing something 18 times over a minumum of 18 days to create a new habit.
Others I've read have suggested that for most of us we can only create one new habit every month. (It's too mentally exhausting to try and change too much at once and we end up failing in all our new efforts.)
Key 1: Concentrate on no more than one new habit per month.
So try this experiment. Pick a new habit, just one, and then repeat that one habit 18 times over at least the next 18 days. For example, if the habit is going for a walk and you do it every 2 days, it will take 18 times over the next 36 days to create that new habit. If the habit is something you only do once a week then it will take 18 weeks to create the new habit, and in this case you can add a second habit at the end of the first month.
Key 2: Add new habits rather than stopping old habits.
And here's another suggestion I've found helpful. I've found it easier to add new habits rather than stop old habits. (Though some things still need to be stopped immediately.) So for example I'm wanting to cut down on the caffiene I drink, so instead of stopping drinking coffee I've added a regime of drinking a glass of water every time I have a coffee. The new good habit has the tendency of pushing out the old bad habit without all the pain normally associated with trying to give up something.
All the best on your habit changes.

marriage

Good marriages are the result of continual effort and learning. The benefits of a good marriage are of greater worth than almost any other human endeavour. If you are serious about having a great marriage then check out some of these resources.

• Marriage Test to check out how solid the foundations of your marriage are based on research for the book "Why Marriages Fail". http://www.probe.org/content/view/746/72/
• Relationship Satisfaction Test. An online 30-35 minute test. http://psychologytoday.psychtests.com/tests/relationship_satisfaction_r_access.html
• A simple self scoring Relationship Satisfaction Test. http://psychologytoday.psychtests.com/tests/relationship_satisfaction_r_access.html
• An excellent Love Languages Test. Do the test and then pick up a copy of Love Languages by Gary Chapman which is on my highly recommended list.

value of time

One day a boy asked his busy father, "Dad, how much money do you earn in an hour?" The impatient dad answered, "I don't know, I guess I make about $50 an hour when I'm at work. Now don't bother me, I'm busy." After a couple of weeks of doing odd jobs around his neighborhood, the little boy approached his dad one evening and said, "Dad, here's $25. Can I buy 30 minutes of your time so we can play together?"

leaders are learners

"Never stop learning. All leaders are learners. The moment you stop learning you stop leading. Growing churches require growing pastors. The moment you stop growing, your church stops growing. I don't worry about the growth of the church. I never have. In fact, it will probably surprise most people that in 21 years we have only set two growth goals -- and they were both the first year of the church! What I focus on is keeping myself growing and motivated, and if I am on fire, other people will catch it."
- Rick Warren

choices

Who do you believe?
"The universe was not pregnant with life nor the biosphere with man. Our number came up in a Monte Carlo game." (Jacques Monod)
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)
My choice is contained in the words of Joshua who said, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 25:15)

thesis v antithesis

One of the great changes that has taken place in the popular mind over the last century is the change in how people view truth.
Historically truth as been viewed in the thesis / antithesis paradigm. This meant that if something is true then the opposite is wrong. However, the German philosopher Hegel (1770-1831) introduced the idea of synthesis which firstly captured the minds of the philosophers and eventually has infiltrated the popular thinking mindset.
What this means is that many people no longer think in categories of thesis / antithesis or right / wrong, but in terms of ideas that can be synthesised to create a whole new idea.
In the past people understood that when you argued that Christianity was true then the opposite of Christianity had to be false. Now people look at Christianity and its opponents and create a new synthesised truth which contains components of both.
The question these days is not 'Is it right?' but 'Does it work?'
The challenge for the Christian is to show in our individual and corporate life that Christianity works precisely because it is right and that it stands in opposition to any synthesised religion.
(For a great discussion of this idea read "The God Who Is There" by Francis Schaeffer. Available as a seperate book or part of "The Complete Works of Francis A Schaeffer.")

martin luther said ...

These words are attributed to Martin Luther, the great leader of the Reformation in the 1500's, and they still ring true today.
"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at the moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point."
In practical terms this means we have to learn to hear from God about what is the pivotal battle to be fighting. It might be a belief pattern in the world or it might be a personal battle in our lives, but if we miss the quiet voice of God then we miss being effectively used by him to change the world in which we live. It is for this reason a daily time of listening to God is so vital. If we don't take time to be in his presence on a daily basis we can end up fighting the battles of yesterday and never the battle God wants us to fight today!

making a difference

Are we serious about making a difference in our world? God calls us not to just focus on winning individual souls, though in my opinion that is a strong contender for the number 1 priority of the church, but also we are called to restore our culture so that it resembles as much as possible the characteristics of the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth.
In fact winning individual souls and restoring the culture go hand in hand. As we are seen to be positive influences on our world we gain the right to be heard in respect to how individuals can best live their lives.
Here are some excellent websites for those concerned about transforming our world.
http://www.thepeaceplan.com/
http://www.micahchallenge.org.au/
TOGETHER we really can make a difference!

homosexuality

Mention homosexuality and people's emotions get heated. I personally hold to the traditional bible teaching that we are to love and act gracefully to all people, while at the same time upholding truth.
One of the best examples of this is found in Jesus when he was confronted with a women caught in adultery. He said to her, "I do not condemn you, go and sin no more." Jesus was able to love the women without condemnation while at the same time pointing her to truth that could set her free.
In the case of homosexuality we are to without condemnation, point people to the teaching of God that sexual relationships are only appropriate between a man and women in a married relationship.
Here are some resources to find out more.
An interesting article called "Homosexuality: Questions and Answers." http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/homo-qa.html
A great website is http://www.livehope.org/ and another that has lots of testimonies is http://www.stonewallrevisited.com/
A testimony of a person who came out of homosexuality.
http://www.leaderu.com/stonewall/pages/john_s.html#
An Australian group that helps people deal with sexual addiction. The leader is a man who was a minister who was involved in homosexuality.
http://www.livingwaters.org.au/
A website that provides courses on all sorts of sexual addiction areas. http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/

roadmap for peace

the napalm girl

Did you know.

The girl in this famous picture from the Vietnam War survived. She was treated in an American Hospital and survived despite a prognosis she would die within a few days.

Her name is Kim Phuc and she eventually became a Christian proclaiming the message of forgiveness.

She was approached by a person claiming to be the pilot of the plane whom she promptly hugged and forgave.

The person who claimed to be the pilot was John Plummer, an American. Later it was discovered later was not in actual fact the pilot. (This does not lessen the fact that Kim was willing to forgive the pilot.) The original story before the deception was discovered can be read at http://www.hawaiiforgivenessproject.org/stories.htm#john)

The plane that dropped the Napalm was not an American plane but a Vietnamese plane.

worldview

Any worldview, whether it be secular or religious, needs to answer humanity's age-old questions: Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? Does life has any meaning and purpose? ("Now How Shall We Then Live", Charles Colson, P.xi)
And once these questions are answered, we need to ask the question: Can I live consistently with my answers?
Answer these questions for yourself. Go on take the time and make the effort and then ask yourself whether or not you can live according to your answers.
Many have answered by saying all life is the result of random chaos, well try and live your life that way and see how long you last. Some answer by saying all that we experience is only in our imagination, and yet if they want to live long they still look both ways before crossing a street.
Some say there are no rights and wrongs, and yet if you smack them in the head they'll get upset as if you've done something wrong to them.
Some say there are no absolutes and are absolutely sure about it.

10 tips for finding friends

1. Waiting at home alone for God to send you friends won't work. The Bible tells us that God designed us to be interactive with others. We are encouraged to seek fellowship with like-minded people. Take a step of courage and place yourself in situations where potential friends are, like a church group or other social clubs.
2. If you want a friend - be a friend. Pouring your life into someone else opens the door for deeper intimacy. A self-involved person has limited their opportunities for healthy friends.
3. Proverbs 22:11 says - He who loves with a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. Keep your motives pure. Avoid manipulation and don't desire someone's friendship for social status or other selfish reasons.
4. Don't rush it. Often, people who are desperate for friends overwhelm potential friends by getting too personal right away. This can scare off acquaintances who might become friends over time. Deep, lasting friendships take time to develop.
5. Proverbs 17:17 says - A friend loves at all times... Give your friends grace to fail you. They are not perfect. Address conflict with gentleness and respect.
6. Work on yourself. The healthier, balanced person you become, the more attractive you are as a friend. Emotional growth and maturity are very attractive character assets.
7. Smile. You'd be amazed at how people will respond to a simple smile. You may be the bright spot of their day. Who wants to "connect" with a frowning sour-puss?
8. Be honest, but loving. Proverbs 27:6 tells us that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Be very careful with criticism. It should always be given to restore and build up, never to tear down.
9. A friend in need is a friend indeed! Have you heard this saying? Friendship is never more keenly felt than during times of difficulty. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. - Ecc. 4:10
10. Listen! Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer.

links to research about benefits of religious beliefs

Here is a link to a number of research articles exploring the link between religious beliefs and health. Some very interesting findings. http://www.nihr.org/programs/researchreports/listresearchreports.cfm

effective evangelism

If you're interested in what makes for effective evangelism then check out "Hell's best kept Secret" by Ray Comfort. Go to the link and listen to the message online at http://www.livingwaters.com/listenwatch.shtml or contact me and I can send you an MP3 copy of the message.

religion good for your health

Medical studies are confirming that those who attend church regularly and act consistently with their faith are better off, both physically and mentally. Consider a few recent findings.
- Alcohol abuse is highest among those with little or not religious commitment. (D.B. Larson and W.P. Wilson, "Religious Life of Alcoholics," Southern Medical Journal 73, no. 6 (June 1980): 723-27
- Numerous studies have found an inverse correlation between religious commitment and drug use. Among young people, the importance of religion is the single best predictor of substance-abuse patterns.
- There is a strong correlation between participation in religious activities and avoidance of crime.
- Several studies have found that high levels of religious commitment correlate with lower levels of depression and stress. (Larson and Larson, The Forgotten Factor, 76-78)
- Persons who do not attend church are four times more likely to commit suicide that are frequent church attenders. In fact, lack of church attendance correlates more strongly with suicide rates that with any other risk factor, including unemployment. (Larson and Larson, The Forgotten Factor, 64-65)
- A number of studies have found a strong inverse correlation between church attendance and divorce, and one study found that church attendance is teh most important predictor of marital stability. (Ibid, 72)
- Churchgoers are more likely to say they would marry the same spouse again - an important measure of marital satisfaction. And the 1994 Sex in America study showed that very religious women enjoy a higher level of sexual satisfaction in their marriage than do nonreligious women.
- Church attendace even affects mortality rates. For men who attend church frequently, the risk of dying from arteriosclerotic heart disease is only 60 percent of that for men who attend infrequently.
(Quotes come from "How then shall we live?," Charles Colson, 311-313)

acts prayer

Although prayer cannot be reduced to a formula, certain basic elements should be included in our communication with God. I believe they are Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication, or "ACTS" for short, which will help you remember. A -- ADORATIONTo adore God is to worship and praise Him, to honor and exalt Him in our heart and mind and with our lips. Adoration expresses our complete trust in Him and reflects our confidence that He hears us. Adoration demonstrates our reverence, awe, love, and gratitude. C -- CONFESSIONWhen our discipline of prayer begins with adoration, the Holy Spirit has opportunity to reveal any sin in our life that needs to be confessed. By seeing God in His purity, His holiness, and His love, we become aware of our own sinfulness and unworthiness. Confessing our sin and receiving His forgiveness restores us to fellowship with Him and clears the channel for God to hear and answer our prayers (1 John 1:7-9). T -- THANKSGIVINGNothing pleases God more than our consistent expression of faith. What better way to do this than to tell Him, "Thank you"? God's Word commands, "Give thanks in all circumstances" because "this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV). As we approach God with a thankful heart, He makes Himself strong on our behalf. S -- SUPPLICATIONSupplication includes petition for our own needs and intercession for others. We are to pray for everything and in specific terms. As you talk to God, for example, pray that your inner person may be renewed, always sensitive to and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Pray about your problems, pray for wisdom and guidance, pray for strength to resist temptation, pray for comfort in time of sorrow -- pray for everything (Philippians 4:6). Then pray for others -- your spouse, your children, your parents, neighbors, friends, campus or community. Pray for your pastor and missionaries, and for various other Christians to whom God has given special responsibility. Pray for those in authority over you (1 Timothy 2:1,2). These elements -- Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication -- have helped many Christians to develop a more well-rounded prayer life. Remember: "ACTS."

three dollars

Some people plod through life, not me, it's either full bore ahead or blob out big time. Life has been rather hectic lately and so I'm been crashing to get my energy back. When I blob I watch lots of movies. Saw 'The Da Vinci Code' and thought it was okay, nothing stunning, but I've just finished an excellent Australian movie called "Three Dollars".
It's not the kind of movie I'd normally watch, not enough mahem. It's billed as 'the epic story of an ordinary man.'
It's a feel good movie about how a man copes with ordinary life and some of the curb balls thrown at him, a great movie, well worth the couple of hours.
Note: It is rated M due to a couple of scenes.

how to bring revival to your church - bill bright

Here are some ideas:
1. Encourage your pastor and church leaders to preach and teach on the attributes of God as a basis for first love, faith, and obedience.
2. Organize a 24-hour prayer chain divided into 96 fifteen-minute periods. Ask participants to pray around the clock for revival among church members and for a great spiritual harvest of new believers.
3. Choose seven different church members to meet with the pastor early each Sunday morning for prayer and to receive his prayer requests for each day of the week, each day assigned to one of the seven.
4. Invite several church members to gather for prayer during each church service, especially while the pastor is preaching.
5. Encourage all church members to fast and pray on behalf of the pastor and the church for one 24-hour period each week.
6. Ask your pastor or church leader to emphasize biblical truths on repentance, confession of sin, restitution, and reconciliation among church members.
7. Teach members how to be filled with the Holy Spirit and walk in the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit by faith as a way of life.
8. Train church members and other Christian groups on an ongoing basis to share their faith more effectively in the power of the Holy Spirit.
9. Designate one night each week for positive, aggressive evangelism as a part of church visitation.
10. Challenge members to help fulfill the Great Commission in their neighborhood and develop a vision for the world.
11. Encourage members to understand the law of sowing and reaping and honor the Lord through obedient and faithful stewardship. Teach them the joy of giving tithes and offerings.
12. Teach the history and conditions of revival. Encourage members to read biblical and historical accounts of revival.