If you have an interest in the issue of suicide then check out http://www.suicidereferencelibrary.com/index.php.
(Note: It's American based so the stats and facts might not be reflective of the Aussie situation, but the articles will still be a valuable resource.)
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
resources for the new Christian
Here are some good resources for the person who is considering or has begun the journey of walking with Jesus. http://www.theinvitation.tv/
More links and resources can be found by clicking on the "Exploring Christianity" link at http://www.cmponline.net/
More links and resources can be found by clicking on the "Exploring Christianity" link at http://www.cmponline.net/
getting people to do things
Recently I was Staff Development seminar. The leader shared what I think is a helpful progression of steps when communicating with someone about a task that needs to be done.
He suggest four steps, they start from less direct and end up very direct. He suggested that the partnership between a manager and a sub-ordinate needs to be 51/49, that is we are in a partnership and need to work together, but in the end the manager is the senior partner and in the end is responsible for the final decision.
Stage 1: Self Awareness - Have a discussion that is based around helping the person be aware of their responsibilities. At this stage most of the ideas should come from the sub-ordinate person.
Stage 2: We - A more direct conversation style is needed when the person does not display Self Awareness of the task(s) that need to be completed and the quality at which they need to be completed. A WE conversation is something like, "We need to ..." The WE communicates that you are having a bigger input but that you are still wanting their input.
Stage 3: I - If WE didn't get satisfactory results then you need to move to "I would like you ...". The emphasis is now on what you expect but is still encouraging their input.
Stage 4: You - This is the most direct stage where you say, "You must ...". This stage is only used once the earlier stages have not worked or when the time frame does not allow the other stages to take place.
He suggest four steps, they start from less direct and end up very direct. He suggested that the partnership between a manager and a sub-ordinate needs to be 51/49, that is we are in a partnership and need to work together, but in the end the manager is the senior partner and in the end is responsible for the final decision.
Stage 1: Self Awareness - Have a discussion that is based around helping the person be aware of their responsibilities. At this stage most of the ideas should come from the sub-ordinate person.
Stage 2: We - A more direct conversation style is needed when the person does not display Self Awareness of the task(s) that need to be completed and the quality at which they need to be completed. A WE conversation is something like, "We need to ..." The WE communicates that you are having a bigger input but that you are still wanting their input.
Stage 3: I - If WE didn't get satisfactory results then you need to move to "I would like you ...". The emphasis is now on what you expect but is still encouraging their input.
Stage 4: You - This is the most direct stage where you say, "You must ...". This stage is only used once the earlier stages have not worked or when the time frame does not allow the other stages to take place.
freedom
I was listening to a very interesting lecture the other day on "Jewish Intellectual History" and the lecturer mentioned a concept called 'two types of freedom' which I found fascinating.
The basic idea is that there are two forms of freedom we can ascribe to.
1) The Freedom from Restraint. This is basically the idea that freedom is the freedom to do what I want, when I want and how I want.
2) The Freedom of Contraint. This is the idea that I use my freedom to place myself under that guidance of a higher power. I exercise my freedom to contrain myself because I acknowledge that God has greater wisdom than I in regard to how I should live.
I found it a really interesting concept that 'freedom' is found and experienced when I come under the umbrella of a greater wisdom. That instead of constraining me, this voluntary constraint actually liberates me to achieve a higher good and greater freedom than acting as an autonomous being can do. Thus 'constraint' brings true freedom, and 'autonomy' ends up in constraint as everyone seeks to exercise their individual autonomy to the detriment of others around them.
Source: Lecture from a series called "Jewish Intellectual History: 16th to 20th Century" which is available from the Teaching Company (www.teach12.com). Quoting from an article by Isaiah Berlin called 'Two Concepts of Freedom'. (See http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/liberty-positive-negative/)
The basic idea is that there are two forms of freedom we can ascribe to.
1) The Freedom from Restraint. This is basically the idea that freedom is the freedom to do what I want, when I want and how I want.
2) The Freedom of Contraint. This is the idea that I use my freedom to place myself under that guidance of a higher power. I exercise my freedom to contrain myself because I acknowledge that God has greater wisdom than I in regard to how I should live.
I found it a really interesting concept that 'freedom' is found and experienced when I come under the umbrella of a greater wisdom. That instead of constraining me, this voluntary constraint actually liberates me to achieve a higher good and greater freedom than acting as an autonomous being can do. Thus 'constraint' brings true freedom, and 'autonomy' ends up in constraint as everyone seeks to exercise their individual autonomy to the detriment of others around them.
Source: Lecture from a series called "Jewish Intellectual History: 16th to 20th Century" which is available from the Teaching Company (www.teach12.com). Quoting from an article by Isaiah Berlin called 'Two Concepts of Freedom'. (See http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/liberty-positive-negative/)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
feeback example
Here's a good example of feedback. (Thanks Ryan for the link.)
Weitzel's feedback technique is called SBI (shorthand for Situation-Behavior-Impact). Following these steps can help the receiver more easily see what actions he or she can take to continue or improve performance or to change behavior that is ineffective or even an obstacle to performance. An effective feedback message tells the receiver the impact of a specific behavior on the sender. Here is an example of how to use the three-step model:
Step 1: Capture the Situation ("Yesterday morning in staff meeting,...")
Step 2: Describe the Behavior ("you had a number of side conversations and at times were joking during my presentation.")
Step 3: Deliver the Impact ("When you were talking to others while I was speaking, it was very disruptive to what I was trying to accomplish. I felt frustrated and annoyed by it.")
From http://www.workdyn.com/TOOLS-FeedbackModel.html
Weitzel's feedback technique is called SBI (shorthand for Situation-Behavior-Impact). Following these steps can help the receiver more easily see what actions he or she can take to continue or improve performance or to change behavior that is ineffective or even an obstacle to performance. An effective feedback message tells the receiver the impact of a specific behavior on the sender. Here is an example of how to use the three-step model:
Step 1: Capture the Situation ("Yesterday morning in staff meeting,...")
Step 2: Describe the Behavior ("you had a number of side conversations and at times were joking during my presentation.")
Step 3: Deliver the Impact ("When you were talking to others while I was speaking, it was very disruptive to what I was trying to accomplish. I felt frustrated and annoyed by it.")
From http://www.workdyn.com/TOOLS-FeedbackModel.html
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
.jpg)
feedback
I have a love/hate relationship with feedback. I really love to encourage honest feedback, but on the other hand hate how emotionally hard it can be to accept critique sometimes.
We just completed a survey of our church and some of the feedback is positive and some negative.
The thing I often think about is how do we create a community where feedback is encouraged and where we are willing to accept the pain because we know in the longterm an honest community is really the only one being part of.
Your thoughts about what helps create such a community would be appreciated.
Some of my initial thoughts follow, let me know what you think!
- Leaders have to model receiving negative feedback without getting defensive.
- Honest and useful feedback requires a community of trust and care. This can only happen if we take the time to build relationships where there is mutual respect and love.
- Doing something in response to feedback is vital to show that we don't just fob off criticism.
- For there to be good critique, there also needs to be a lot of honest positive feedback.
- Never give positive feedback that is not honest. (I personally have a rule that I will never fudge feedback. If I can't be honest I won't say anything. This way people know that any feedback I do give is what I really believe.)
- As a leader what I do and say sets the standards which others follow. So if the culture is not healthy it could be because I am an unhealthy example.
We just completed a survey of our church and some of the feedback is positive and some negative.
The thing I often think about is how do we create a community where feedback is encouraged and where we are willing to accept the pain because we know in the longterm an honest community is really the only one being part of.
Your thoughts about what helps create such a community would be appreciated.
Some of my initial thoughts follow, let me know what you think!
- Leaders have to model receiving negative feedback without getting defensive.
- Honest and useful feedback requires a community of trust and care. This can only happen if we take the time to build relationships where there is mutual respect and love.
- Doing something in response to feedback is vital to show that we don't just fob off criticism.
- For there to be good critique, there also needs to be a lot of honest positive feedback.
- Never give positive feedback that is not honest. (I personally have a rule that I will never fudge feedback. If I can't be honest I won't say anything. This way people know that any feedback I do give is what I really believe.)
- As a leader what I do and say sets the standards which others follow. So if the culture is not healthy it could be because I am an unhealthy example.
Monday, October 09, 2006
i wonder
I wonder what are the questions that really haunt your nights, the thoughts and questions that creep into your mind when you're feeling a bit low?
I think one of the mandates of the follower of Jesus is to honestly confront those questions and to acknowledge that we don't always have conclusive answers.
One of the big questions for me, which might seem strange for a Minister, is the reality of God.
I have to acknowledge that sometimes my belief is virtually absolute and yet at other times I really wonder.
I personally follow Jesus not because of an absolute proven belief, but because of a faith that his way is the best way and that he's changed me for the better. I know him as a friend, not a fact of science, and walking his path is better by far than any other alternative I've found.
In a sense I'm a reluctant and unsure follower, but perhaps that's not a bad thing in the end.
I think one of the mandates of the follower of Jesus is to honestly confront those questions and to acknowledge that we don't always have conclusive answers.
One of the big questions for me, which might seem strange for a Minister, is the reality of God.
I have to acknowledge that sometimes my belief is virtually absolute and yet at other times I really wonder.
I personally follow Jesus not because of an absolute proven belief, but because of a faith that his way is the best way and that he's changed me for the better. I know him as a friend, not a fact of science, and walking his path is better by far than any other alternative I've found.
In a sense I'm a reluctant and unsure follower, but perhaps that's not a bad thing in the end.
free hugs
So much on the net I don't know about. Here's a really cute short video clip about hugs from www.youtube.com, check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4, its fun.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
religion v Christianity
Excert from a conversation between Ken Blanchard & Bob Buford.
Do you know the difference between Christianity and religion? He said it's how they are spelled. Religion is spelled Do, D-O. Most people quit because they never know when enough is enough. Following Jesus is spelt Done, D-O-N-E. There's only one rule: Do you believe? Who am I? How many times does Jesus ask that?
(NetResults, July/August 2006)
Do you know the difference between Christianity and religion? He said it's how they are spelled. Religion is spelled Do, D-O. Most people quit because they never know when enough is enough. Following Jesus is spelt Done, D-O-N-E. There's only one rule: Do you believe? Who am I? How many times does Jesus ask that?
(NetResults, July/August 2006)
retirement question
Here's a short except of an interview of Ken Blanchard by Norman Jameson.
Jameson: You're sixty-six. Thinking about retiring?
Blanchard: I asked Zig Ziglar, seventy-nine at the time, if he was going to retire. He said, "There's no mention of it in the Bible and except for Jesus, Mary, David and a few people, nobody under eighty made an impact." He said he was going to "refire" rather than retire.
(From NetResults, July/August 2006)
Jameson: You're sixty-six. Thinking about retiring?
Blanchard: I asked Zig Ziglar, seventy-nine at the time, if he was going to retire. He said, "There's no mention of it in the Bible and except for Jesus, Mary, David and a few people, nobody under eighty made an impact." He said he was going to "refire" rather than retire.
(From NetResults, July/August 2006)
in my view (for Sunday 8th October, CMP Newsletter)
IN MY VIEW by Pastor Pete
In my view one of the great dangers to true community in the church is the lack of face-to-face time. Let me encourage you to think about developing relationships using a very simple idea called 'my place, your place, our place'.
It is my belief that a healthy deepening friendship requires three 'spaces' in which it develops. It requires inviting others to come into 'my place' so that they feel valued. It requires me going into 'your place' so that I get a better sense of who you are, and you know that I value you enough to go to you. It also requires that we develop 'our place', those places which is neither yours or mine, but is created as 'our place' because we do stuff together there.
Try this exercise.
(1) Write down the names of people from church who in the last six months have been entered your three spaces, 'my place, your place, our place'.
(2) Write down 3 names that you would like to invite to 'your place' in the next 3 months.
Note: Because 'our place' is the least intimate, it is also the easiest to invite people to and so for many people is the first place to start. Ideas of 'our place' might be a coffee shop, the beach, the movies, etc.
In my view one of the great dangers to true community in the church is the lack of face-to-face time. Let me encourage you to think about developing relationships using a very simple idea called 'my place, your place, our place'.
It is my belief that a healthy deepening friendship requires three 'spaces' in which it develops. It requires inviting others to come into 'my place' so that they feel valued. It requires me going into 'your place' so that I get a better sense of who you are, and you know that I value you enough to go to you. It also requires that we develop 'our place', those places which is neither yours or mine, but is created as 'our place' because we do stuff together there.
Try this exercise.
(1) Write down the names of people from church who in the last six months have been entered your three spaces, 'my place, your place, our place'.
(2) Write down 3 names that you would like to invite to 'your place' in the next 3 months.
Note: Because 'our place' is the least intimate, it is also the easiest to invite people to and so for many people is the first place to start. Ideas of 'our place' might be a coffee shop, the beach, the movies, etc.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)